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There is no more devastating loss than the loss of a child. If you haven’t lost a child, you can never truly know the pain a parent will feel, no matter how hard you try. That’s what makes supporting a family member or friend who lost a child so difficult. What can you possibly even do or say, because nothing will be able to help. But, that doesn’t mean you are helpless. There are ways to support someone you know who lost a child.

What can you do to support a family who lost a child?

Truly, the most meaningful and important way to support some who lost a child is just being present. Your time, presence and compassion are worth more than anything else.

Start off by letting the grieving parents know you're thinking of them and that you're there for them if they need anything.

A simple message can provide comfort without placing pressure on them to respond. They might never respond, and that’s okay too.

Also, for a grieving parent, asking for help might be difficult too. So, it’s in the ways that you know that they need where you can step up. Grief can make even everyday tasks feel overwhelming. You can offer to prepare meals, help with household chores, look after other children or their pets, or run errands.

Instead of saying, "Let me know if you need anything," you can take the initiative and offer a specific way you can help.

Can you still talk about the child?

Yes. Don't be afraid to mention the child's name. Grieving parents may find it comforting to hear that you remember and acknowledge their child and even share your favourite memories.

But, most importantly, remember that grief has no timeline. A grieving family may experience pain and relieve trauma on the child’s birthday, their own birthday or anniversary, or when they see other children.

It’s said that that some wounds never truly heal, you just learn to live with it. That’s how it can be for many grieving parents.

Encourage them

If someone is struggling, it’s not easy to see or even admit that you are struggling. It’s the same for grieving parents. If you see that they aren’t coping emotionally, gently encourage them to speak to a counsellor or therapist.

Just remember, that while you can’t ever take their pain away, you can make life just a little easier or more bearable. Showing up isn’t about making big gestures, it’s about the small things that add up.

References:

Supporting someone who is grieving the loss of a child. PalliativeCare Australia. Accessed 2026. Available here.

How to Help a Grieving Parent. Children’s Hospital Colorado. Accessed 2026. Available here.

How to Support Someone After Losing a Baby or Miscarriage. Parents. 2026. Available here.